Time To put yourself first!http://www.thecomplexmom.com/it-can-be-life-changing-to-be-selfish-its-time-to-put-yourself-first/
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Self Care

It Can Be Life Changing To Be Selfish! It’s Time To Put Yourself First!

Do you ever just feel like you’re drowning in life? You’re taking care of everyone’s needs while you’re hiding the signs of an obvious imminent mental break down?

It’s time you start putting yourself first.

I know, I know, you are a mom and that is all but impossible.

I know this because I’m a mom too.

Not just a mom but a widowed, completely single, live an hour from my closest family kind of mom.

This motherhood thing is an amazing job I’m lucky to have, but the toll it takes on my mental health somedays can be no joke.

So today I plan on telling you my story of how I’m putting myself first and hopefully inspire you to do the same.

You deserve this mama!

Saving myself 101

This drowning feeling has been going on for longer then I care to admit.  I’m a stay at home mom and the summer with both kids home nearly did me in.

What is the saying? You have to put on your own oxygen mask first? 


  • Step One

I made some hard decisions.

I made the decision to put my two-year-old in daycare on Tuesdays and Thursdays while his older brother was in school.

Say what!?!?!

No, I’m not one of those hoity-toity nannies raise my kids while I play tennis kind of stay at home mom.

I’m ashamed to even admit it.

But ladies, I had to put on my oxygen mask.

I couldn’t rely on family for consistent breaks from my kids, no husband to speak of, so I made a choice that maybe not everyone would agree on.

It honestly has been great for both of us.

So what do I do all day?  I clean the house, run errands, work on my goals, and sometimes I go get a damn massage.


  • Step Two 

I set goals.  I’ve talked about it here in more detail, but I thought about those things that I’ve always wanted to do and never made time for.

I decided to really focus on my writing.  I started a blog, and have also been working on the book I’ve always wanted to write!

It doesn’t sound too exciting but ladies let me tell you it is.

To wake up every morning with a purpose and some motivation is a life-changing thing!


  • Step Three

Self-care ladies!

I know everyone preaches it but if you’re not doing it you need to start.

I’ll admit its not a miracle cure, but with consistent self-care, you’ll get in the habit of putting your own needs first and it will do your mental health a lot of good.

I list a bunch of ideas here, but these are my favorite self-care activities:

  • Journaling
  • Regular work-outs
  • Gardening
  • Monthly massages
  • Yoga/floor stretches (the kids do this with me!)
  • Reading- Check out Book of the month club! I love it!
  • Social media detox (This is hard with a blog but I’m trying!)
  • Taking Vitamins
  • Eating Healthy


  • Step Four

Start saying no.

It’s time to cut ties with anything that is no longer serving you.

For me, this meant making the decision to break up with my boyfriend.

I’m talking met him at the front door with a box of his shit in my hands.  ADIOS!

He had literally done nothing to warrant this, but I was feeling super stuck and knew the relationship was going nowhere.

I wanted to really be able to focus on myself and my kids and knew it was time to rip the band-aid off.

I also left a volunteer position I had held for five years that I literally dreaded going to, and have cut ties with family and friends that were obviously toxic.

This has given me more time to focus on the friends and family that I truly love being around.




I realize I’m suggesting some pretty drastic things here.

But drastic times call for drastic measures, and my mental health was in drastic need of saving.

This is your time ladies!

Is there something that’s been bothering you for a while but you’re too scared to change?

It’s time to stop making excuses and do what you know needs to be done.

It’s ok to be selfish.

It’s ok to put yourself first.

Your kids need the best version of you so go out there and make it happen!

Make the move.

Ditch the boy that’s holding you back.

Chase your goals.

Apply for that dream job.

Stop holding yourself back! You can do this!

For more ideas on how to help your mental health check out some of my other posts!

Why You Need To Be Setting Goals

Why You Should Be Using A Habit Tracker

How To Pull Out of Stay At Home Mom Burnout






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